Thursday, December 20, 2018

Being Present is the Best Present This Holiday Season

Have you ever seen this photograph?


It's been all over Facebook and Instagram and other social media sites and apps.  It's very telling.  What do you see going on here?


Your presence is the greatest gift you can give.

Did you know that years ago, before we had a gadget that was approximately 3.5x6 inches, we actually sat around the table at dinner and enjoyed each others’ company?  Or in the living room, playing board games and laughing over stupid jokes and eating popcorn?  Did you know that we went on walks together and explored the neighborhood or new areas?  Did you know that we soaked in the moment as it happened?



Today, most of us are carried away with recording every moment of every day.  We do that through our smart phones and tablets and computers, and we love technology. Gosh how we love freaking technology!

Didn’t Napoleon’s brother, Kip, sing to his bride a song about loving technology? “But not as much as you, you see! Always and forever!”


But did you know that when you are always recording, you are looking at life through a screen, rather than with your eyes, and your brain doesn’t quite work in the same way?  Instead of watching it happen right before you, with awe and wonder and excitement, and all of those good feelings, you’re watching through a screen as it happens, and thinking, I can’t wait to get this on social media so everyone else can see it! 

And we wonder why we feel like we miss out on certain things.

We had actual conversations, about real things, not about video games and our “friends” on a gaming platform.  We could look at each other in the eye and be close, and whisper secrets.  We could write on notepaper and fold it into an origami triangle and pass it to each other in class.  We did things together.  We could touch, feel, hear, see, smell, FEEL… everything.



Today, we are so intrigued with virtual reality, that anything actually depicting reality is scary.  We’ve found virtual safety being the controller of a video game in our hands, because it’s easier to do that than to call someone on the phone and go out for pizza.

Have you looked around at your family at a gathering, and more than half are checking their Instagram or Facebook, because they want to know how many likes they have from a meme they shared?

Think about it.  Here they are, surrounded by people they love, and who love them, but they aren’t getting the serotonin and dopamine levels from those people.  They are getting them raised by literal strangers.  The moment that they pick up their phone to check the latest scores, or text, or email, they are disconnecting themselves from the people in the room.  Twenty minutes can go by very quickly when lost on a device, and looking up, bleary eyed, notices everyone else has gone out for a lovely walk to look at holiday lights in the neighborhood.



We’re all guilty.  Most of us have these devices, and for our children, we have fun, educational game apps so they can be calm and get lost in a world of virtual reality.  We all do it.  I know I do, but I’m making a change. 

This holiday, I’m going to put my phone in my purse, put my purse in another room, and I’m going to enjoy my family members.  I’m going to talk to them, and laugh, and play, and go for a walk, and help prepare food, and clean up, and laugh some more.  My being present will mean so much to them.  But more than that, my being present will help me feel better.

You see, like many people, I deal with depression.  Well, hello, most artists do, ha!  Remember what I said about serotonin and dopamine levels?  I’m so done with raising those because of sharing silly memes that will quickly get forgotten, or sending a text, or playing a stupid “find the hidden object game” and get to the next level.  I’m going to be purposeful about raising my levels and do it the old fashioned way, and really enjoy my loved ones.



I invite you to join me.  Being present will be the greatest gift you can give your loved ones, and yourself.

PLEASE NOTE:  NONE OF THESE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE ONES THAT I'VE TAKEN.  I DO NOT CLAIM COPYRIGHT.  THEY ARE STOCK IMAGES.

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